Once we are in a relationship, we often tend to focus on the small and insignificant things. We think: how can I make him/her love me more? How can I make the relationship last longer? These are the types of questions that come up within most of us when we are in a new relationship. However, what if instead of focusing on these things, we focused on communicating deeper instead? What if instead of working harder on making the other person love us more, we worked just as hard to find out ways that would bring us closer together?
What is Deep Communication?
Communication is one of the most important aspects in any intimate relationship. With poor communication, most relationships will struggle from immature conflicts and doubts about commitment. Conversely, with great communication, trust and intimacy grow exponentially between partners. As you see, communication is key for a happy and healthy relationship – it helps strengthen it from the inside out. Deep communication is the process by which you communicate your needs openly with your partner so that they understand your feelings and desires better than anyone else. It’s not just about verbalizing what’s on your mind; it’s also about showing your partner through actions and indirect communications how much they mean to you without them even realizing it themselves.
Deep communication is the process by which you communicate your needs openly with your partner so that they understand your feelings and desires better than anyone else.
Write From Your Heart
Step 1. Start the Process
Practice what you’re going to say aloud or silently to yourself. You can also write it down so that you really have it in your memory. Communication is an art and not a science, so you’ll only improve by trying and failing. If you feel like communication is hard in your relationship, you should ask yourself what you could be doing wrong. If you’re not sure, ask your partner how they feel about what you do. Understanding each other’s needs and feelings is a huge part of effective communication. You can also initiate a conversation about how you feel. Form honest and open discussions with your partner to unearth any issues or misunderstandings you might have. This can help you communicate better and lead to a better understanding between the two of you.
Communication is an art and not a science, so you’ll only improve by trying and failing.
Step 2. Look Within
Start by asking yourself, “What do I want from the conversation that we’re about to have?” Ask yourself this question each time you want to initiate deep communication with your partner. – Once you start the conversation, focus on what your partner wants as well. Ask your partner, “What do you want from the conversation?” Pick a neutral time and place to talk. For example, pick the couch as opposed to the bed. Being seated while talking tends to make you less emotional and more logical. You want to choose the right words and the right tone to convey your feelings. You want to make sure that you’re not leaving out any important details, or over-explaining them. This can make your conversation sound too technical and indirect.
Step 3. The Heat of The Moment
Don’t interrupt your partner, as Interrupting is almost always considered an attack. And in many cases, it can make your partner feel defensive. Slowly let your guard down and be thorough as you share your thoughts and feelings. This shows your partner that you’re serious about what you’re saying, and you don’t want to leave things hanging. Let’s say you want to communicate that you’re worried about something. You might say something like, “I have a feeling that this is going to happen, but I don’t know why.” Or, “I don’t know what to do about this because I don’t know if it’s right or wrong.” These types of phrases communicate deeper than just the actual issue. You’re also saying that you don’t know what to do, and you could be wrong. These phrases show vulnerability. They are signs that you are concerned, and you want to let your partner know that you care enough to let them know what’s worrying you.
Step 4. Mind What’s Unsaid
The ability to communicate and connect with others isn’t something that comes naturally to everyone. That’s why it can be so beneficial to learn how to improve your nonverbal communication skills in order to have a deeper connection with the people in your life. Nonverbal communication is one of the most powerful ways we can connect with those around us. Showing emotion with your eyes, nodding when you hear talking, being aware of your body language, and speaking to your partner’s love language going forward will all create deeper communication between you and them.
Going Forward
Deep communication is the key to any strong and lasting relationship. By being open and honest with your partner, you allow them to understand your needs and feelings in a way that nobody else can. It’s not just about saying what’s on your mind; it’s also about showing them through actions and indirect communications how much they mean to you without them even realizing it themselves. These tips should help you start thinking about ways that you can have deeper communication with your loved ones. Do you have any other tips that have helped you communicate better with those closest to you? We’d love to hear from you in the comments below!